Written by Iran delegate Susan Mark Landis on May 12th. Click here to read more of Susan's journals.

Journal, as we leave

About 12 hours from now we should be in the airport, preparing to leave Iran. I have more questions than when I arrived. Iranian culture is a multitude of inconsistencies--not unlike my own. The President says one thing; the Supreme Leader another; and the people have their own interpretations and hopes. Don't people everywhere want peace, clean air and food for their children, the chance for meaningful work and the right to worship God the way they understand?

We haven't had as many meetings with people or gone as many places as we hoped. We desperately wanted to meet with past President Khatami, the moderate students helped to elect. Yesterday one woman said that it was he who granted permission for women to wear clothes other than black, although many still do. But there is a huge amount of unexpected diversity in manteaus and scarves.

My commitment to nonviolence, to dialogue, has not changed while here. These people have suffered hugely from government policies and the Iran-Iraq war. During a meeting yesterday, a senior government official declared repeatedly that Iran, for thousands of years, has little record of preemptive war, mostly only using self-defense, and that they are open to dialogue with other nations and religions. But other questions--inconsistencies--loom large and we won't get answers. We know people's cell phones are tapped and their Internet usage watched, that arrests are arbitrary and the prison horrendous, that talking too much is costly.

But does any of this mean that dropping bombs will help? Rather, when attacked, Iran defends its way of life--yes, with children soldiers.

So I'm delighted to be returning home to family and friends but sad that so much remains unlearned. My bus is leaving.