50 shots: The Bell verdict

"Have you heard?" Paul asked me. "No," I responded, but I knew I needed to know. "They got off," he sadly replied. "All three?" I asked. "All three," Paul repeating me. "Damn," I thought aloud.

I was immediately overcome with a deep sense of fear. I feared for my life. I was so glad that after my philosophy of religion course at Union Theological Seminary that I would be getting on train and leaving New York City. Ironically, I would feel safer as Black man in the D.C. with the Bush administration. It was one of those moments that reminded me of that peculiar pole of patriarchy that renders Black male bodies dangerous and warranting deadly force by male police officers. I was glad that my sons, particularly my eldest did not live in New York with me.

50 shots and a not-guilty verdict make exile seem all the more evidential and logical option. Part of me says: "Leave, that country will never give you justice." The more faithful angels prevail and say: "Let's have church!" So then we will gather as historic churches in the Village to bear witness to both our hurt and hope for "God is still speaking."

[Ed. note: There will be a service for Sean Bell tonight at 6pm at Judson Memorial Church in New York City. To learn more visit The New York Times and Wikipedia.]